Uno momento

One minute doing fine, the next, WHAM! A wave slammed into me. I got knocked over and fell into the deep blue sea, swallowing a mouthful of salty water. *sigh* I don't know why I'm always so surprised by it. I know that eventually, most likely, a wave will come in. That's just the nature of grief.

Tonight it was seeing Army boy wearing Mr. Stoic's shorts. I had, out of necessity, pulled out some of Matt's old size 12 summer clothes. Army boy hit a growth spurt - a big one. I knew that eventually he'd be wearing Matt's old clothes, but I hadn't expected it to be this soon. I thought most likely it'd be next summer. Well, growing boys don't wait.

It is so hard to see, yet Army boy loves it. Out of all the children, he is the one who talks the most about his brother. He has an amazing memory and is always telling us about stuff that Matt did. Usually naughty things. :) LOL

Seeing Army boy wearing Matt's shorts just made my heart ache terribly missing him. How can someone just stop existing? How can he really not be here? I need a hug from my daddy - my Father in Heaven, God Almighty, the God of all comfort. Going to turn on some worship music.