Thine eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Thy book they were all written, The days that were ordained [for me,] When as yet there was not one of them.
After intense struggling last night, I think I "got" it. I think I've accepted that no matter what I "could'a, should'a, would'a" did or didn't do, it would not have made a difference. God has a set number of days for every single person. When your time is up, your time is up. I realized it doesn't matter the circumstances in how you go. The Creator of the universe ordained a set number of days for each person's life. Period. I had a new found sense of peace after "reasoning" His word last night. It actually brought me a sense of comfort. The number of days God ordained for our son from his birth day to his entrance into paradise was 5,933. It comes to 16yrs., 2mo., and 28 days. How precious was every single one of them! (Not to mention the number of treasured pregnancy days carrying him...however many those were.) And I thank God that in heaven we have eternal life. There will be no end of days. Amen and Amen.