The water heater went out last night, so I didn't get a shower this morning (or any hot water, for that matter, for anything else). I also woke with a sore throat (always due to lack of sleep). On top of that, within one minute of his rising this morning, I had to tell the four year old to go back to bed until he was ready to come out cheerful. And if that's not enough, grief decided to stage an ambush. Then, to mess things up even further, I had to be out of the house to take Sweet Stuff (15yo.) to her french class.
On the way home from dropping her off, I heard the song "Never Let Go" by the David Crowder Band. I pulled into the driveway as it played and gave in to the wave of grief, crying for the almost five minutes it took for the song to play. The repetition of the lyrics was something I didn't realize I desperately needed to hear.
I'd had a heavy heart since last night when Matt's 6yo. brother came to me and said he missed his brother. While I am so thankful that 1) he remembers his brother and 2) he's secure enough to come and talk to us about it, seeing him hurt, coupled with the fact that I can't take it away, pains me deeply.
I was greeted by a cheerful 4yo., however, when I walked back in the
door, all due to the amazing 13yo. sister he has. She was making colored
pancakes for him. There is grace and mercy and blessings on this road
of grief as well...and for that, I am thankful. He never lets go.