Saturday, July 13, 2013

Grief at bay

I can honestly say it's been an o.k. week. We got back from the farm and had to jump into the week with both feet. Two of the kids celebrated birthdays on the same day this week, and we were in cake up to our noses! About the only family tradition we have is that I make the kids' birthday cakes from scratch. The awesome thing about this is that 1) I've gotten better at making them and 2) Artsy girl loves to express her creativity with baking and has learned to make fondant from scratch. She and I also took some Wilton cake decorating classes which helped. :)

We have two more birthdays in the next three weeks with the two year anniversary of Matt's homegoing sandwiched between them. Joy and grief, a broken record; the needle of sorrow stuck in the groove of loss. Thankfully, there is One who picks up the arm of the record player, moving it ever so slightly, with care and precision, and keeps the music going. Slowly, I am learning to listen for it.

The birthday cakes devoured and the guests gone, I decided to wind down with a book. In my BC days (Before Children), I used to inhale books, often reading a 500 page book in two days. (It's been a long time since doing that!) However, the busyness of the week compelled me to "check out" mentally. Rather than finding escape through food, I chose reading. :) I'd been to a writing conference back in April and had wanted to read a book titled, "A Real Emotional Girl" by Tanya Chernov ever since. (Ms. Chernov was one of the speakers/authors on the conference panel.) I knew it was a memoir on the loss of her father, and identifying with loss is what drew me to it. I picked up the book a few days ago and was transported back to my BC reading days almost immediately upon starting chapter one. I now have three chapters left to read. I haven't gotten anything else around the house done since I started reading. Let's just say, "Moderation in all things" is a very wise saying, indeed!

It's been a relief to not live in grief this week. It's all-consuming fingers have loosened their grip and there is a reason for it. I believe God has pried Grief's claws from around my heart by speaking a word to me this past week about grief. I'm still processing it all, but I hope to post sometime in the next few weeks about it.

And speaking of relief, another bit of refreshment has been in playing Mandisa's new song, "Overcomer." It's one of my absolute new favorites!   



  1. Angie, delighted to catch your blog here and thrilled to be mentioned in such flattering light. Hang in there, you are on your way. The path isn't easy but there is joy to be found on the other side. I promise!

  2. Tanya,
    I emailed you back! Thank you so much for doing the excruciatingly hard work of grief, putting it on paper and sharing it with the world. Your book was the diamond that came out of that dark mine.