It just is

I joined an out-of-town friend in visiting last night, along with some of her other friends. In the course of the conversation, they were discussing their teens, the struggles they were having with them, and just the general parenting conversation that all involves. I sat there, unable to join in. My heart grew heavy listening, and all I wanted to do was get up and leave because I was reminded of my loss once again. But I know that's reality. It just is. I can't (and don't!) expect others to walk on egg shells and monitor their conversations about their teens just because mine died. It hurts, but it's the truth. It's just another part of the grief journey that I'm going to have to get used to. (And I do realize our 2nd born is a teen, now 14. But it's the discussion of older teens, teens that drive, work, are graduating, going off to college, etc. Those are the discussions I can no longer take part in. Not yet, anyway. And not about Matt, not about my oldest, ever again. It just made me sad.) But it is what it is. It just is.