Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Seven months with grief

Seven months

It sucks. Death sucks. Grief sucks. I realized, however, that death is a fake, a cheat. He appears to have won, but for those who are in Christ Jesus, we know that death ultimately loses. I am consoled by knowing that, in the end, there will be victory. Today marks seven months since your “re-birth”, Matt. You were born again (spiritually) when you accepted Jesus Christ as the Lord and Savior of your life, but you were re-born (physically) when you died an earthly death, the death of your body. You are alive, re-birthed into heaven's arms. While we grieve down here, you are rejoicing with God, with Jesus, with grandpa, with Jean, with Julie, with Dave, with Kim, and so many other loved ones.

Jonathan gave your picture a kiss last night before bed. I hope you got it. I still pick up your pillow every night, hugging it, wishing it was you, wishing there was a way to bottle up your smell that's no longer there.

We're going to throw some more eggs outside today. I know it's something you would have gotten into! :) I'm still trying to come up with ideas, too, to mark your re-birth date on July 29. Believe it or not, we were actually contemplating going to a paint ball field, but I'm reconsidering since I discovered there's potential pain involved. Still tossing around other ideas.

In the meantime, I am trying to keep my eyes on God, on not what I/We have lost, but on the hope and the promise of eternal life and eternal reunion, a life without death, mourning, crying, or pain. (Rev. 21:4)

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