Friday, March 14, 2014

The ties that bind

Losing a child is a parent's greatest fear. This fear was realized when I lost my son, and it was realized for my bereaved mom friends when they lost their children. Our worst nightmare came true. We did lose a child. The only thing that could make it worse is losing another child. Last Friday evening, my dear friend Deb lost a second child, her 20 year old son, just 9 months after losing her 24 year old daughter. I have no words to say, except to lament with her, to mourn with her, to grieve with her and her family. Please pray for the GOD of all comfort to comfort her and her family, to grant them strength and peace. May they be reminded of His great, overwhelming love for them. May they lean hard on Him and on the truth of His word. May we be the hands and feet of Jesus for Deb and her family.

Deb is a part of our mom's group, as she calls it. (Because, really, what do we call ourselves? We don't want to be defined by our loss, so we don't call it our "bereaved moms" group even though loss of a child is exactly how each one of us got connected. We met, too, for many months doing a book study, but we don't call ourselves a book group either; because our getting together is about so much more than going through a book.) We are a group of women who know what it's like to experience a parent's greatest fear and live to tell about it. We are women who are stronger today than we could have ever possibly imagined. We are a group of women whose lives are forever changed. We are a group of women whose faith has been more shaken, yet more solid, than we ever thought possible.

I attended the funeral yesterday for Deb's son with some of the women from this "mom's group." We carpooled together, this unlikely quad. Four women about as different as the deaths that claimed their children's lives. Four women whose paths crossed only because we each have a child alive in heaven. Some might say that these friendships were the result of bad luck, but we know that's not true. They were forged by the loving hands of an Almighty God. Though we don't profess to know His reasons or even come close to understanding His purposes, we rest in knowing that He has a plan; a good, perfect, and pleasing plan.      

God's grace is always abundant and always for the moment. He granted Deb the grace to stand before hundreds of grieving people yesterday and proclaim His truth, the truth that this world is not our home, that Jesus Christ died for each one of us and has gone to prepare a place for us. 
John 14:1-3
“Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. 
In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; 
for I go to prepare a place for you. 
If I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself, 
that where I am, there you may be also.

Shared sorrow is the tie that binds this amazing group of women together, but it is ultimately our faith in the finished work of Christ on the cross that unites us and gives us the hope that one day soon we will not only see our precious children, but we will see our Savior, and there will be the death of death. Until then, may we be found "looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith..." (Heb. 12:2)


  1. I pray for your friend Deb and her family. My heart aches for this unimaginable grief.

  2. Thank you so very much. Prayers are coveted and most appreciated! Blessings to you.