What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

Kelly Clarkson has a song titled, "What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger." I'm not particularly a fan of her's, but the song title made me stop and think. The sudden, unexpected death of my son sure made me feel as if I'd been killed, that a part of me had died. Then there were days where I wish I had died. Another song titled "Stronger" by Mandisa also has the same theme of survival.

Music is so powerful, and it's been incredibly instrumental in our healing. Especially Christian music where the lyrics remind me of God's character and of the truth of His Word. Honestly, however, a year ago when I would hear the lyrics of Stronger, I would think to myself, "I don't want to be stronger. I just want my son back."

Mandisa - Stronger
Hey, heard you were up all night
Thinking about how your world ain't right
And you wonder if things will ever get better
And you're asking why is it always raining on you
When all you want is just a little good news
Instead of standing there stuck out in the weather

Oh, don't hang your head
It's gonna end
God's right there
Even if it's hard to see Him
I promise you that He still cares

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
And things can only get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger
Gonna make you stronger, stronger, stronger
Believe me, this is gonna make you ...

Try and do the best you can
Hold on and let Him hold your hand
And go on and fall into the arms of Jesus
Oh, lift your head it's gonna end
God's right there
Even when you just can't feel Him
I promise you that He still cares

'Cause if He started this work in your life
He will be faithful to complete it
If only you believe it
He knows how much it hurts
And I'm sure that He's gonna help you get through this

When the waves are taking you under
Hold on just a little bit longer
He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger
The pain ain't gonna last forever
In time it's gonna get better
Believe me
This is gonna make you stronger

I don't feel stronger, but bit by bit, I've been noticing progress in teeny, tiny areas. I can look at Matt's picture now, if only for 15-20 seconds and it doesn't result in a trip to the pit. I'm also finding myself agreeing to some song lyrics when I thought I never would. Funny as how I'm not a fan, either, of artist Pink, but I heard her song "Try" (Thanks to David, our Brazilian exchange student....'cause I don't listen to secular music and would never have heard of it otherwise) and realized I was agreeing with her.

Pink - Try (partial lyrics)
But just because it burns
Doesn't mean you're gonna die
You've gotta get up and try try try
Gotta get up and try try try
You gotta get up and try try try

There are other things, too, that have suggested healing. For example, though it still stings to hear certain comments, the sting doesn't seem to go as deep or last as long. I think I'm getting a bit stronger. Not feeling very confident, but it's a start.