1,828 days

1,828 days. Five years since I've seen my son. Oh, the ache that remains. There are, still, no words to describe what it's like to live with this kind of loss. This blog has been my feeble attempt at describing it, however. It's been a place of refuge where I can pour out my heart to God in my native language, the language that comes naturally to me: the written word. It's been a window into the grief world for those on the outside seeking how to best help their loved ones who are in "the club no one wants to be a part of." I hope and pray it's been helpful, but more so, honoring to God and glorifying Him.

While I am tempted to count each of these 1,828 days as lost with my son, I am reminded of one of the lyrics from the well-known hymn, Amazing Grace, penned by John Newton:

"When we’ve been there ten thousand years,

Bright shining as the sun,

We’ve no less days to sing God’s praise

Than when we’d first begun."

These are words that give me hope, that help me grieve with hope. (1 Thess. 4:13) For our short time on this earth results in absolutely not one day less in heaven. For each day that passes here without my precious son, I have not lost one day in eternity with him. In fact, time in heaven does not count down or shorten. Every day in heaven is forward. Unlike this earthly life, in heaven we will always look forward, there will always be a next day. This life may not have tomorrow, but heaven always does. What a glorious thought.

Today, as we mark these 1,828 days without Matt, we remember where our hope is placed, in whom it is placed. We continue to press forward with the GoFundMe campaign so that others, through the ministry of Trout Lake Camps, can experience the hope and salvation through Jesus Christ that we, and Matt, have. We are only $810 from our goal. We invite you to wear #Mattsblueshirt today and, if you are able, give to the GoFundMe in memory of our son.

I can't thank you enough for supporting us. Your prayers, thoughts, donations, and love are appreciated more than words can convey. They have carried us through.